women who only date doctors or lawyers - myhyundai.info Community Forums
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And if you're looking for driven strivers whose idea of success is the Mercedes, the summer home in the Hamptons and the wardrobe of Armanis, it is very likely they will be equally acquisitive and status-conscious when looking for a woman. It's good to see you are starting to question what you want, because it seems necessary. Have you experienced a smart, successful man turning you down for not being a bimbo, or are you just angry about the stereotype?
It's probably not as true as you think it is. A lot of really smart men don't end up being doctors or lawyers. If you try to meet some teachers, nonprofit leaders, or research scientists, you might miss out on the financial benefits of dating a doctor or lawyer, but you might also gain a lot in terms of, you know, an interesting and nice person to date not that doctors and lawyers can't be interesting and nice.
Honestly, I think the older you are, the more established and immovable your peers' dating habits and requirements are going to be. But, just because they might be looking for X doesn't mean that you should adjust your expectations and seek out Y.
Where does happiness lie in that equation? Don't try to be a mind reader when dating. Open up your mind and be open to new experiences, a broader range of interests and try not to have so many expectations on you or your date.
Otherwise, I think there might be articles in "women's magazines" about dating services dedicated to hooking you up with a doctor or a lawyer. But, I don't know, that sounds like an unpleasant exercise in separating the few grains of wheat from the chaff.
See lots of people. Don't worry about procuring your own arm candy to impress your friends. I would consider myself a successful, professional, single male, and I absolutely would date a woman who is at least my peer.
Furthermore, I will say that I prefer women who are smarter, more educated, and more motivated than me. I think it's incredibly attractive. I mean looks to play a part, but a smaller role than one would think. So, is there a site where I can sign up? But seriously, over the years I was lucky enough to date a couple such women, and I'll generalize: They were looking for perfection in their partner, and as awesome as I was haI never met their criteria.
Deep down, I truly believed that they were looking for someone their superior, although they denied it emphatically. They wanted a surgeon or top lawyer, from an ivy league school, tanned with abs of steel and a full head of wavy hair. But, maybe that's my insecurity showing. If you want a certain thing in a partner then look for someone who possess it.
Confirmation bias isn't your friend. If your reason for dating someone like that is to get back at society, then by all means, go for it. But frankly I'd be happier for you if you did it because you actually enjoy dating young ripped dudes and buying them stuff and taking them to Belize or whatever it is sugarmamas do. I think your question more accurately phrased is "why aren't the doctors and lawyers I want to date interested in me?
You can be into whatever you want to be into, and no one should begrudge you it - but it would be easier for you to meet and date men in general if you were able to move past your doctor and lawyer fetish. If, near the top of the list, is 'successful' and 'professional', that's okay, this is entirely up to you, but what else do you want?
It narrows your choices, but if that's what will make you happy, go looking for it. The 'nice body' and 'doctor or lawyer' criteria will save you from dating the fat truck drivers that, even though they're intellectually challenging, you'd never be happy with. Some of your other criteria, you're not going to know if they've been met until you go on a few dates with the person. Your search might be difficult and frustrating because you've consciously limited your options but that doesn't mean there aren't any successful, professional, nice-bodied, intellectually challenging doctors or lawyers looking for successful professional women in your zip code.
You don't say how old you are; as you get older, it gets harder to find single people who aren't screwed up to the point that it's a deal-breaker. You're asking if you should lower your standards. And fight the bitterness, because it's so easy to let it consume you. It's also equally misguided, I think. There are nice guys and assholes in every profession, but there are certainly different type of prevailing cultures in different professions.
If a man is in an industry that encourages or even demands that he be ruthlessly ambitious and prove he's better than everyone else, he might be intimidated by the prospect of coming home to a partner who is his intellectual and professional equal, particularly if he's on the insecure side. The corporate or professional culture anyone is a part of--meaning the social and cultural environment they inhabit for most of their waking hours--will necessarily affect warp?
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That doesn't mean you can't find a nice lawyer or doctor indeed, I can think of a couple very nice male doctors and lawyers I know, who love and support their wives' career ambitionsbut I think you'll definitely increase your odds of finding a smart man who doesn't prefer bimbos if you can recalibrate your idea of "smart" professions.
True, there are lots of successful non-doctors and lawyers, my ex-husband is an MBA and I am CPA, and there are many others, but those are the professions of people who have asked me out since my divorce. I want a relationship, but I think maybe this whole equal-partner thing is a myth, and maybe what I should look for is someone who is not competing financially or intellectually or whatever, and go for someone who will just blindly admire me like so many successful men seem to do. Now I see that doesn't seem rational unless I really just want admiration and not an equal partnership.
Thanks for all of the intelligent repsonses.
I'm a lawyer and that is definitely not true. May I gently suggest that you explore how you feel about a close relationship? Because this sounds exactly like the type of defense mechanism I used to employ to avoid relationships without admitting to myself that I was frightened.
I believe that many men actually like your characteristics in a woman. I think most are unsure of how to deal with a woman who acts more like say, how they expect other men to act. Perhaps they are intimidated by it. I'd say this is all to do with how "gender roles" are played out in society. Most men expect women to act a certain way, and most women expect men to act a certain way. Some individuals are different, of course. You should try and find someone who accepts you for who you are and isn't intimidated by you.
Someone who will treat you as an equal. You shouldn't limit your search to doctors and lawyers! Some great men are business owners, artists, writers, scientists, computer programmers, etc.
I would only be interested in dating someone who's an equal partner. So if you approach dating as you've suggested, you would overlook me and lots of guys like me. I recommend doing some soul-searching and asking if that's what you actually, honestly want not if it's what you should want.
You're marketing yourself to the wrong demographic, if this is genuinely happening over and over again.
Remember-- you don't want men who don't want a smart as hell partner, so you don't worry or overgeneralize when this happens, you move on and count your blessings that you found this out up front. I'm probably younger than you, but men who think intelligence is an actual turn on are my demographic and I don't worry about marketing myself, to be crass, to anyone outside of that niche.
I should look for is someone who is not competing financially or intellectually or whatever, and go for someone who will just blindly admire me like so many successful men seem to do. Actually, a whole lot of them want to be dominated in the bedroom. So much so as to be ye-rolllingly common. I do think that it's true that men are often intimidated by successful professional women, even though they may be unwiling to frame it in these terms.
On the other hand, I see some professional women looking specifically for professional men who are often kinda snobby and superficial about it, or shrilly insecure. Not saying that this how you're acting, but it could be a factor which is informing others' behavior. One thing that might help is to seek men who are not in your field. Go find out a good place to meet engineers and architects and other men who are not in the financial field at all. It's a little harder, sure, but it also removes the "direct comparison" aspect, which means that it's a little easier for both people to avoid knee-jerk power stereotypes.
This group includes doctors, lawyers, and one friend who is both a doctor and a lawyer, along with entrepreneurs, writers, newspaper editors, tenured college professors at Ivy League institutions, and other women who are dedicated to very demanding and high-profile careers. So no, not a myth, and although I have no women friends who are CPAs, I somehow don't think that that particular qualification is a greater barrier to finding an interesting, professionally successful man as a partner than having a Ph.
What specific evidence do you have that leads you to believe this?
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IOW, why do you think this? I ask because I wonder if you're sitting and wondering why these guys aren't calling you back, when they're sitting at home wondering why you aren't being more assertive in pursuing them.
Or some other weird misunderstanding like that. I've looked at this sentence a while, and I'm It seems to be sending a number of mixed signals about a your perception of yourself, b your perception of others, and c your perception about THEIR perception of you.
I'm wondering if maybe the problem isn't a matter of "equal relationships being a myth", but may in fact be more a matter of you maybe giving off some mixed signals without knowing it, and that's maybe putting people off.
Gotta love strangers, your friends won't tell you Thanks again for all of your helpful reponses. If you date several different people but they all treat you the same way, that is not because all men are the same. Men are different from one another, and have different desires.
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You're the only constant in that equation. Men and Women who are actually looking for Partners tend to seek out equals. Men and women who are not looking for that type of relationship have less rigorous standards.
Trust me, as long as you are not looking for a gold digger, it is not. But it is not a liability either it is just irrelevant. You don't write "I am a good looking woman", "I am a women with a great personality" but you write "I am a successful woman". You even don't write that you are a "smart woman". As long as you don't understand this you are unlikely to succeed in finding what you want. Your argument that men don't like successful women is given a lot by successful woman because they don't understand that this attribute is totally irrelevant for most man.
Likely they won't find a man because of their behavior or looks but not because of their successes. You should probably start dating a few people and learn about the dynamics. What I have written here are facts. Take it or leave it. There are exceptions but at the whole picture my statements are true.
Many of my girl friends made more money than I did. But I know that this is an exception and not the rule. And I dated them because I liked them.
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It is very hard for a woman to impress a man with money since it is irrelevant for him in what he is looking for in a woman. Most relationships aren't truly "equal", but give and take -- your partner fills a place in your life that you can't fill on your own, and you do the same for them. If the "trade" works out to seem balanced, we use the word "equal" to describe it The type of men you're describing Can you get these mates Besides, what kind of shady guy is going to want to get tangled up with a lawyer who knows her stuff?
Not a smart one, that is for sure. Lawyers represent success and power. It takes a strong man to love and live with a lawyer.
He can't be a wallflower and he can't be low in the self confidence department. With that in mind, here are the reasons why men are attracted to lawyers and why you should look into getting into law school. We women brag all the time about who we are dating and the guys do the same thing. When a man falls head over heels for a woman and she turns out to be a lawyer, he will be clicking his heels, believing that he is the luckiest man on the planet.
He is going to want to tell all his friends, his neighbors, and probably drop a line or two to the people he doesn't like, just to keep them on their toes. They wear the best shoes and outfits money can buy.
If you drive by the local courthouse, you can easily see which women are lawyers and which women are pedestrians. There is a certain class among lawyers. They hold themselves up high and straight in their clothing, making them look impeccable and determined.
Nothing can shatter them. Well a guy who dates a lawyer knows that his woman is going to stand up for him, especially where the law is concerned. If at any time he is getting slack from work or from another person, he knows his wonder woman will step in and set the record straight for him and the other party.
On the other hand, he is going to want to stand behind her and be her support during her career moves and during her trials. There is a lot of giving and taking when in a relationship with a lawyer. Lawyers are the perfect people to play devil's advocate with, and they will often switch up the roles and play the devil's advocate themselves. They love to argue points and the conversation never gets dull. Men who date lawyers will sometimes find themselves overwhelmed, but the strong ones quickly recover and rise to the challenge of debating their lover in all things, from politics to whose turn it is to do the grocery shopping.
Women lawyers are pros at negotiation. Many of them take their skills and use them in relationships and parenting. A man who dates a lawyer knows that she is smarter than he is in a lot of things. He also knows that she has experienced a large number of different situations, whether through her personal life, her education, or through her work as a lawyer. She has met numerous different types of people and has attended a wide variety of events.
She has the life experience that makes her so incredibly interesting to men. That is not too shabby. While young lawyers still have school debt to pay off, by the time they are done paying off their loans, they will probably be making a lot more than what they started off on. Gone are the days when men entered into a relationship expecting to make more than their girlfriends.
In fact, the millennial men love it when their girlfriend makes more than them. This can be a good thing for guys who like to work on their own projects.